Relationship musings

I love the idea of being in a relationship, but at the first sign of something actually starting, I freak out, effectively eliminating any chance of actually having one. Am I screwed up or what? 

I envy couples a lot. You never need to be alone in a social situation, you’re confident because you know someone really likes you and finds you attractive, you can discuss random things without worrying if the other person thinks you’re weird, you never feel like a tag-along. I could go on.

But then I like a boy and everything changes. I get weirded out by the lack of privacy and independence and I worry that the boy doesn’t like me as much as I like him.  Are these signs of insecurity?  Probably. Do I know how to change?  No.  Do I want to be in a relationship?  Yes – to the right guy.  Am I worried about growing old alone?  No.