Awkward situations often are the result of somone being an asshat ("AH").  AHs, like most rational people, try to avoid confrontation where they can.  In this case, confrontation in the form of the other person asking why the AH was in fact an AH.  This implies that the AH has some sort of conscience, even if AH did do asshatty things.

I don't think I have a point to this.  It's late and I'm going to sleep.  

Somthing is not quite right.

Lately I keep having all these negative thoughts. It feels like nothing is going right - at work, with the family, with social relationships.  There are times I just want to say "fuck you" to the world, no matter how immature that might sound.  I think i should have grown up by now, but I often feel that I'm failing at life.

Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again.

I just feel fucking shit.

I keep telling myself that it meant nothing.  In fact "it" was really a non event.  But whenever I see him I get this awful pang in my stomach.  If it meant nothing then why does it feel so awkward?  I am an adult now and should be able to deal with it. 

I know whatever it was meant more than me than to him, so why can't we be friends?  Why is he avoiding me?  Maybe guys and girls really can't be friends after becoming somewhat more than friends.  Saw him at Y's farewell drinks last night, with his girlfriend (I presume) which is fine.  I have no issues with her or the fact that I maybe liked him more than he liked me.  But why couldn't he have told me that he didn't fancy me to my face?  That's the issue here.  The sucky thing about the situation is that I've lost a friend.